Two guys, two jokes.

Two guys got on a train out of Grand Central Station in New York City. Each was surprised that the other had a black eye.
"How did that happen?" asked the first guy.
"It was a slip of the tongue," said the second guy, embarrassed. "I wanted two tickets to Pittsburgh, but I was staring at the attendant's large chest and... wound up asking for two pickets to Titsburgh. She punched me in the eye. How 'bout you?"
"Oh mine was a slip of the tongue, too," said the first guy. "I was sitting at breakfast with my wife and meant to ask her to pass me the salt. What came out was, 'You've ruined my life, you fucking cunt.'"

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Two drunk friends were discusing sex. Bill asks Ben "What's your best sex position?" Ben answered "Doggy style. Screamin like dog and slapin her ass" Bill says "That's to common. You should try this new position. I call it Rodeo". Ben asks what Rodeo position is. Bill said "Tell your wife to get on all fours on the floor. Then mount her. Ben says "That sounds just like doggy style. Bill says "here's where it gets good. "After a few minutes, reach around and squeeze her boobs and say `These feel just like your sisters'. Then see how long you can hang on. ".